[origin = Justice Watch Forum]

"Ruth Ann Gerstenkorn"
Posted by Chris on 23:19:44 3/12/2001

NOTE: This message was last edited 23:19:44, 3/12/2001

I went to visit Ruthee knowing full well that she would be different than the last time I had seen her. The last time we were together was with Denver/Digerati in Vegas, a year and a half ago. Never one to arrive without fanfare, Ruthee had descended the jetway in big Jackie-O style sunglasses and a wig. She was wearing a homemade nametag sporting the name of a code-six wignut whom we often laugh about (and at).

Ruthee's husband Frank had prepared me for her current condition. He said, "She's not the Ruthee you remember." With an air of confidence I nodded, thinking to myself I can handle seeing Ruthee without hair. I had spoken with her on the phone just a couple of weeks ago and she sure seemed like the same old Ruthee to me then - laughing and joking around.

When I saw her for the first time I was somewhat surprised. She has lost a lot of weight, her arms and shoulders are thin. Even her face, in spite of what she calls her "turkey waddles" was thin. Her eyes were bigger than I had ever realized. She was wearing a blue bandana on her head.

I sat down beside her hospital bed, aka command central. The house revolved around that bed which took up nearly all of her office space. A room that was Ruthee through and through -- books about homicides right next to the books about collectibles right beside a big binder with writing on the spine that read, "JAMESON'S LIES." Little trinkets, a big Mickey Mouse clock on the wall and her PC.

As we began to talk she kept reaching for the blue bandana - adjusting it, moving it here, moving it there, pushing it up, pulling it down. It wasn't her at all. She knew it and I suspect she knew that I knew it. I said, "It won't bother me if you take that off, it doesn't look like you're very comfortable wearing it." The words were hardly out of my mouth and she had discarded it.

I looked at her head. It was covered with the fine wispy blond hair of a newborn baby. It swirled at the ends. It was like seeing my son's head full of soft blond hair for the first time. I wanted to touch it but didn't want to embarrass her. She said, "Come on, let's get the crying over with!" I couldn't cry, I just wanted to look at her.

On the left side of her head, just above her ear she has a cyst. It is about 2" in diameter and is raised about ¼" above the skull. She is assured that it is on the outside of her skull and that is harmless. I can tell it bothers her - maybe she is just self-conscious of it. She keeps touching it.

We talked for some time. It was difficult for her to talk. Over the last couple of weeks she has experienced a problem with the right side of her face. The doctors suggest that it could be something as trivial as Bell's Palsy to something more serious (that I can't pronounce).

She has spent the last two weeks getting radiation treatments to her head and will finish up this round of treatments on Thursday the 8th of March. The problem makes it difficult for her to express herself in the usual vivacious manner I am accustomed to. The muscles don't work the way she wants them to. I can see she is frustrated. I am intent to listen carefully so I don't have to ask her to repeat herself and also careful not to try to finish her sentences or thoughts for her as a mother might do for a young child.

Catching up on the lives of our families, the forum and of course, the case. I could tell she was beginning to get tired. Frank and I went and had breakfast while she rested. While he was around Ruthee, he was upbeat and positive. When we were alone he let his guard down a bit and I could see the fear in his eyes. The sadness. The powerlessness came through loud and clear.

As I watched him tend to Ruthee I was struck by his intensity. It was as if he thought that by doing everything he could - making sure she had her meds at the right time, making sure she ate the right things, making sure she had everything she needed whenever she needed it, he could save her from the beast that was trying to beat them both down.

Later that evening the three of us went out to dinner. I arrived at their home just as Ruthee was finishing applying her makeup. She looked beautiful in a burgundy sweater.

Not knowing what to do to busy myself, I took a seat in the study. When she was ready to go, Frank went into her room and helped her into a wheelchair which he rolled out to their van. As I stood back in the doorway and watched, I was overcome with emotion. I felt like I was intruding on a secret dance of intimacy between this man and woman.

With every thought and action only for her well-being he wheeled her to the van, opened the door and helped her stand up. She gripped the door of the van while he pushed the wheelchair out of the way and he carefully yet purposely helped her into the seat. I thought to myself that was one of the most incredible expressions of true and unconditional love I had ever witnessed.

Ruthee is still affected by the leg she broke several months ago so it's a bit of a trick for Frank to get her into the van. He slides her onto a board that straddles the area between the two seats, pushes her almost over to the driver's seat and then turns her around so she faces forward in the passenger seat. He loads the wheelchair in the back, hops in, slides the board out from under her bottom and helps her with her seat belt. And, he smiles at her.

We arrived at the restaurant (in the pouring down rain). Three wet rats, we were shown to a table. Frank jumped up and said, "oh, I forgot the kleenex." Ruthee sat there quietly as a trickle of blood ran from her nose while Frank went back to the van for the tissues. Again, I felt helpless to do anything to help.

We made idle chit chat while waiting for him to return - both ignoring the red line that ran from her nose. An effect of the radiation she later told me...along with double-vision and problems with her hearing.

The next day we had lunch together with Ev. It was fun to meet another of our forum family! I only wished we had more time together. I think we could have solved the case! I was thrilled when I mentioned it to Ruthee on Sunday and she wanted to join us.

Later in the day, I went back over to visit some more with Ruthee. She was sleeping when I arrived. Later when she woke up we talked some more. I was trying not to think that this might well be the last time I saw her. Yet, I wondered if she was thinking the same thing. I forced myself to talk about plans for the future...a trip to Boulder maybe, when she's feeling stronger. Or maybe Vegas - anywhere where there is sun, we both agreed!

In spite of the frailties she shows on the outside, Ruthee's eyes are still very much alive and as deep and full as ever. There is no time for self-pity or anger. Only getting on with life.

After this last round of radiation Ruthee expects to begin therapy to regain her strength, both in her legs and arms which were affected by the carcenoma in her bones. Her pain is gone from the bones - she continues to have pain in her abdomen, which is where the radiation treatments were directed at, as well as headaches.

As we said our good-bye's I told her I love her as I leaned over to kiss her. The table was in the way so I wound up kissing that beautiful, fine baby hair on her head. It felt exactly as it had when I kissed my baby's head for the very first time. And, in my heart I hope that is the signal for Ruthee's rebirth.

March 12, 2001 Update

My dear sweet friend, Ruthee has passed on to be with the angels tonight. She passed quietly and without pain.

She's surely running through the clouds with Babe, Panico and Allipat as we speak. All of her pain and suffering is behind her.

Thank you all for caring. I know it meant a lot to Ruthee and Frank that everyone took so much time to be so kind.

Good Night Sweet Ruth.

1. "No words..."
Posted by Country Girl on 23:21:18 3/12/2001

Peace Ruthee

2. "speechless"
Posted by mame on 23:22:38 3/12/2001

bless you ruthee...
and chris i send my love.

3. "........"
Posted by canadiana on 23:27:09 3/12/2001

Peace be with you Ruthee.

4. "oh chris"
Posted by Gemini on 23:27:24 3/12/2001

When I came in and saw her name, I was afraid ... then it seemed you were doing a nice, in depth, retrospect of your visit. Thank you for setting it up this way. It's such a fine personal tribute for a sweet lady.

RIP, Ruthee. There's another empty chair here that will never be filled.

5. "God's Speed and God's Blessings..."
Posted by Voyager on 23:29:38 3/12/2001

to our Ruthee...With much Love,

6. "."
Posted by ibnora on 23:38:24 3/12/2001

Fare thee well ruthee, my friend.

7. "."
Posted by LizzieB on 23:42:05 3/12/2001

Into the light, Ruthee. You will be missed.

10. "So sad"
Posted by Starling on 23:49:32 3/12/2001

My heartfelt sympathy to her family and the many friends she cherrished.

8. "What can I say?"
Posted by Imbackon on 23:43:53 3/12/2001

It is so sad that another person who was seeking justice for JBR has now left us. I know she was a tireless crusader and I am sure a great loss to all who knew and loved her.

My sympathy to her family,

9. "Oh, Chris"
Posted by Ev on 23:45:44 3/12/2001

I cannot tell you how much this hurts, given just this evening we rode through Ruthee's town once again on our way home from Reno, and we were discussing our meeting the both of you and Frank for lunch a mere week ago. You truly did the most wonderful thing of coming out for your visit when you did, and thank you for the warm tribute you wrote in her honor. It's plain to see how much she meant to you. I hope that Frank knows just how special she was to JW and how much she will be missed by a huge number of people. I'm sure that Ruthee knew that from the many kindnesses extended during her illness. I hardly know what to say, except that I am honored to have met her, despite what was her waning days. Thank you for your tender words.

11. "Ruhtee..."
Posted by Pedro on 23:55:19 3/12/2001

...you did enjoy your life, I know you'll enjoy your rest.

You will be missed.

Chris, please transmit my regrets to Mr.Ruthee, he's the one in need now, Ruthee is well take care for where she's at.


12. "So touched by"
Posted by Msracoon on 23:59:48 3/12/2001

your sharing of Ruthee, Chris, and touched by the Holy Spirit as I read. May the Lord be with her sweet husband now and comfort him. Such love.

Thank you.

13. "I miss her ...."
Posted by Questioner on 00:26:46 3/13/2001

I can't imagine how profound Ruthee's family's grief is.

Thanks for telling us, Chris.

Love to all.

15. "Rest In peace Ruthee"
Posted by Annette on 00:38:46 3/13/2001

Deepest sympathy to "Mr Ruthee". Thankyou Chris for that wonderful tribute.

14. "God Bless you Ruthee"
Posted by katie on 00:36:33 3/13/2001

Some people's life journey touches many lives. So was Ruthee's. She was an inspiration to many of us here. She will be deeply missed and we will always remember her courage to keep the hope alive of justice for JBR.

My deepest sympathy to your family.

Rest in Peace.

16. "Ruthee"
Posted by China on 00:47:18 3/13/2001


Listen, children:
Your father is dead.
From his old coats
I'll make you little jackets;
I'll make you little trousers
From his old pants.
There'll be in his pockets
Things he used to put there,
Keys and pennies
Covered with tobacco;
Dan shall have the pennies
To save in his bank;
Anne shall have the keys
To make a pretty noise with.
Life must go on,
And the dead be forgotten;
Life must go on,
Though good men die;
Anne, eat your breakfast;
Dan, take your medicine;
Life must go on;
I forget just why.
Edna St. Vincent Millay

17. "Dear sweet Ruthee,"
Posted by shana on 00:51:03 3/13/2001

You will never be forgotten by those whose lives you touched.

You will forever be remembered for your vigilance.

You will always be cherished by those blessed to know you.

Be with the light - Godspeed!


18. "Remember"
Posted by MrsBrady on 01:57:30 3/13/2001

...the night she found Zak's watch? It was right there where she said it would be, where he took off his shoes!

...her purloining a wine glass from Pasta Jay's, by flirting with Jay himself?

...when she told me "a man is going to come to see you about some cows"? My daughter was sitting a few feet away - wearing flannel boxer shorts with a Gateway Computer cow print. I just washed, dryed and folded those boxers yesterday afternoon, and I was thinking about Ruthee.

74. "Kathy!"
Posted by MrsBrady on 13:32:19 3/13/2001

Don't disappear, gawddurnit, or I'll fly west and haul your scrawny-lucy-luvin' butt right back in here!

34. "Maw"
Posted by Chris on 06:30:25 3/13/2001

Yes, I've thought about that almost every day since we learned that Ruthee was so sick.

I don't know how I will break this sad news to a little boy who called her "Aunt Ruthee" and spent one of the best weeks of his life at "Camp Gerstenkorn."

19. "Ruthee, Chris..."
Posted by dustii on 02:53:12 3/13/2001

That was a beautiful and loving tribute Chris, Thank you.

To Ruthee's family, my condolences, and love.

A special lady.

"There is no night without a dawning,
No winter without a Spring,
And beyond deaths dark horizon
Our hearts once more will sing -
For those who leave us for a while
Have only gone away
Out of a restless, careworn world
Into a Brighter day
Where there will be no partings
And time is not counted by years
Where there are no trials or troubles,
No worries, no cares and no tears."
(Helen Steiner Rice)
God Speed Ruthee.....

20. "Ruthee"
Posted by starry on 02:59:28 3/13/2001

Chris, I am so sorry that you have to break this sad news to us, and Mr. Gerkerstorn, how my heart is breaking for you as I know your Ruthee was the love of your life. She is whole once again. Rest in peace, dear Ruthee.

21. "Chris"
Posted by momo on 04:12:57 3/13/2001

What a beautiful post you have written about Ruthee. Although I never met her, she was such a champion for a little girl named JonBenet.

May she rest in peace. The angels in heaven are singing. She'll finally get to dance with JonBenet.

22. "Goodbye, Ruthee"
Posted by mary99 on 04:20:39 3/13/2001

Your spirit lives on.

23. "Goodbye, Ruthee"
Posted by pybird on 04:57:16 3/13/2001

You are missed by many.

24. "Ruthee"
Posted by Sixpence on 05:02:23 3/13/2001

..and even though there are roses, the world still breaks my heart..

..good good night

26. "Ruthee"
Posted by Twitch on 05:08:40 3/13/2001

God bless you and thank you for letting us know you. Peace be with you now.

Prayers for Mr. Ruthee and Chris. I'm glad you got to see her, Chris.

25. "What a beautiful person..."
Posted by Pretzel on 05:08:38 3/13/2001

Remember John Donne's (1572-1631) famous lines that insist that death is not the final sleep, but the final awakening. She won the ultimate battle with life.

May Ruthee be awake eternally...soaring with the angels.


28. "A Woman of Substance"
Posted by Lacey on 06:02:04 3/13/2001

I will always remember Ruthee as the gracious, confident, ageless woman I saw on Leeza.

She chose her own attire. She did her own make-up. She was beautiful.

Good-bye, Ruthee.

27. "God Speed "
Posted by Harley on 06:01:08 3/13/2001

and God Bless Ruthee and Mr. Ruthee. Chris thank you for your loving tribute.

32. "Ruthee"
Posted by driver on 06:26:39 3/13/2001

We're all sad. We loved you and your wise, devilish ways. You are one of the bright lights of this world. Shine that light down on us occasionally to let us know that you are still thinking of us. We will miss your dearly, but rejoice that you are out of the darkness of the pain and ugliness of cancer. Bathe in the light, Ruthee. We will all meet again when it is our time.

31. "An aching heart"
Posted by Watching you on 06:26:21 3/13/2001

can bring the staunchest of us to our knees. My heart is aching for Ruthie's loss, there is no joy in JWville today. Chris and Mr. Ruthie - my heart goes out to both of you - Chris, because I know you are grieving hard, and Mr. Ruthie, because your loss is so deep.

What a woman she was - I loved the way she dug her heels in and went after one who doesn't even warrant being mentioned in the same sentence as Ruthie.

We grieve for her loss, but I am rejoicing in her release from pain and suffering and her return to the Other Side where there is no pain and suffering. Ruthie is not dead, she has only passed to another dimension. I hope to meet her there one day.

Reunion on the Other Side: Ruthie, Panico, Allipat, and Babe. Now, it's the JW 4.

29. "A very moving piece Chris..."
Posted by Dr. Who on 07:18:13 3/13/2001

NOTE: This message was last edited 07:18:13, 3/13/2001

thanks for sharing your personal pain with us...

God Bless You Ruthee. Help those closest to her in coping with her passing. Amen I will always remember the enjoyment I got from reading her many writings here, her web pages and the few eMails we exchanged. See you on the other side Ruthee...

33. "Ruthee"
Posted by Matilda on 06:29:27 3/13/2001

My deepest sympathy to Ruthee's family in their sad loss.

God Bless you Ruthee.

30. "A Poem Written By Ruthee"
Posted by Chris on 06:25:52 3/13/2001

This poem was written and posted by Ruthee after the Columbine tragedy.

I have been thinking about it ever since my visit with her.

I remember a day in April when the bearded iris bloom

And the sun led way to rain and the peace led way to doom

There's a hole in the hearts of many and a missing heart in some

A time I will forever remember when the bearded iris come.

Soon the crimson roses drop thier petals the wind to blow away

and the lavender hue of the Iris fade in sorrow as willows sway

In my garden there's a sadness in the flowers among the trees

The humming birds still flutter but the petals ignore their breeze

There's a flower in the meadow I spied it neath a birch

I stopped to share it's pain as I made my way to church

It drooped it's head with dew drops but they were tears to me

A tiny little flower knowing horrors none should see

The bloom whispered of the children now in the arms of God sublime

What lovely flower is this I ask and God said Columbine

As I trod the path of earthly plane with souls of children gone to soon

I'll remember the day in April when the bearded Iris bloom.

Ruth April 1999

One of my thoughts over the past few hours was that Ruthee passed away one week to the day and probably within the hour that we said our last good-byes.

I just can't believe she's gone.

35. "Soar with the Angels Ruthee" Posted by v_p on 06:50:51 3/13/2001

One night I met Ruthee in chat. She was saying something about someone threatening her ... she wasn't scared though ... she said "Mr. Ruthee" would protect her. We should all be so lucky and loved by someone like "Mr. Ruthee" at the end of our days.

Your post moved me to tears Chris and I didn't know her nearly as well as most here. What a good person you are to have taken the time to be with her and comfort her.

Ruthee will see our JonBenet now in a totally renewed and vital spirit ... somehow I know they will be a great joy to each other.

The only joy to be found in this sadness is knowing she no longer suffers.

God bless and comfort Frank

36. "Ruthee"
Posted by Sabrina on 07:04:09 3/13/2001

Chris, thanks for sharing details of your visit with us. We know she has not given up her fight for justice for JonBenet, she has just moved to another place. My sympathies to the Ruthee family.

37. "Ruthee"
Posted by 1000Sparks on 07:08:07 3/13/2001

You are now with the angels. Enjoy your travels.

You will be greatly missed.

38. "Chris"
Posted by Rose1 on 07:12:16 3/13/2001

I did not know Ruthee, other than hearing the name, but that was a wonderful write up on her. I wish I had been able to speak with her.

Now she is with all angels, and a very special little angel, and now she knows the truth and no longer has to deal with lies......how wonderful that is.

God Bless Ruthee, and Chris for his thoughtfulness and caring. (((hugs))) to Mr. Ruthee.

40. "Chris"
Posted by Waiting on 07:30:21 3/13/2001

NOTE: This message was last edited 07:30:21, 3/13/2001

You and Ruthee share a way with words. Thank you for your beautiful tribute to her, and for printing her poem which I intend to print off and keep. "Mr. Ruthee" sounds like a fabulous guy--- my sincere condolences to him. I hope he'll come through all this OK.

39. "Ruthee"
Posted by Mrsrick on 07:24:18 3/13/2001

Thank you Chris for sharing your visit with us. Condolences to her husband, Frank. I remember so many times she spoke so lovingly of him in chat and in her posts. She will be greatly missed by her family, friends, and by her internet "family".

41. "Ruthee"
Posted by LoriAnn on 07:31:17 3/13/2001

Chris, I can't even begin to compete with the beautiful tribute that you have written about our dear friend, Ruthee. She loved you so much and she would be so very proud of you right now.

Go rest high on that mountain, Ruthee.

42. "Ruthee"
Posted by Colorado Babe on 07:53:36 3/13/2001

I am so sad to hear of the loss of our dear friend "Ruthee." Ruthee brought so much energy and insight into this forum, she will be missed by all of us. I rejoice knowing that she is now with our lord in heaven and probally dancing with JonBenet! My heart aches for Mr. Ruthee and I hope that he knows that "we" the Justice Watch Family is here for him, if he should need us. My heartfelt thanks goes out to Chris for visiting Ruthee during her last days and expressing her love and friendship to her. "Ruthee" we love you and we will never forget you.

Colorado Babe

44. "To Ruthee, Frank & Chris"
Posted by janphi on 08:07:53 3/13/2001

"Truth is beauty, beauty truth,"

that is all Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

Ode on a Grecian Urn
John Keats

45. "Ruthee was one of a kind...."
Posted by szundi on 08:12:19 3/13/2001

....and even though I didn't know her well, we did meet in chat and she would, on occasion, ask me to interpret some of the medical aspects of the case for her before she put them on her website.

How fortunate, Chris, that you made it out to see her before she crossed over.

Thanks to Ma Brady for putting all the names and 'hats' on her site today.

This Easter there will be 5 lillies on the altar at Peachtree Prysbyterian from Justice-Watch. One each for our members and one for Jon Benét.

Condolences to the Gerstenkorn family.


43. "Ruthee"
Posted by DuBois on 07:58:17 3/13/2001

You will be deeply missed by so many. My sympathies to MR. Ruthee. Chris, what a wonderful friendship you have shared.

46. "Yesterday"
Posted by RiverRat on 08:14:41 3/13/2001

I picked out a cute Easter card that had a reference to the energizer bunny to send to Ruthee. I just put it in the mailbox before I turned on the computer to find out I was too late. Just knowing that her pain is over in this life and that she is busy giving our baby girl hugs and kisses from each and every one of us right now will help comfort her loved ones here in her community family. Blessings to her family at home that took care of our special lady.

Back to the mailbox...........another lesson learned on putting off to tomorrow........

48. "Maw and Chris"
Posted by Kathy on 08:58:22 3/13/2001

Group hug..We were the fab four...

49. "Heartfelt Condolences..."
Posted by Dunvegan on 09:04:02 3/13/2001

...to Frank...Ruthee remains in our thoughts: a paragon of energy, elan, integrity, and justice... to Chris...and many thanks for the touching memorial tribute to Ruthee. An extraordinary woman, indeed.

"Death is not extinguishing the light but putting out the lamp because the dawn has come." -Rabindranath Tagore

47. "Chris"
Posted by DebDeb on 08:28:38 3/13/2001

Thank you for the beautiful remembrance you shared with us of Ruthee. The love her and Mr. Ruthee shared was pure gold.

My thoughts and deepest sympathies are with her family.

52. "One Thing I Will Miss Most...."
Posted by Voyager on 09:39:57 3/13/2001

about Ruthee is her intuitive knowledge about the JBR case....

I really loved it that Ruthee shared that knowledge freely and without self-conciousness...She put it right out there on the forums or on her website for all of us to share and pick apart in discussion....

Ruthee had the self confidence to say here is what I know, here is what I think, here is what I have sleuthed out....Here it is, take it or leave it, I believe it!

Ruthee had such an interesting mind, following up on clues and objects that got right past the rest of us and past the detectives too!

Remember the marks on JonBenet, that some were claiming to be caused by a stun gun, and Ruthee discovered from a picture of JonBenet's bedroom,(a possible crime scene), that there was a little square metal object with prongs near JonBenet's bed....Ruthee thought she recognized it as an implement used in crafts to make potholders....She tracked one down at a local K-Mart, and brought it home and worked experiments with it....Then brought the results here to all of us who share an interest in the JFJBR cause...

Ruthee, truly was one in a million, both in her intuitive, intelligent, inquisitive nature and in her humor and her ability to share herself with this large and varied group of people...She will be fondly remembered and greatly missed. I have said "Was" when speaking of Ruthee here....She "was" of this world, and now she "is" of the next world....I find myself believing that Ruthee still will find some way to share herself, and what she knows from the place where all is known to us....

Ruthee, a truly "Can Do" person, and a lot of fun too!

50. "Ruthee the teacher.."
Posted by Florida on 09:25:55 3/13/2001

...There's a hole in the hearts of many and a missing heart in some...

Ruthee taught by example with her complete dedication to justice and compassion for JonBenet and the many other children she never even met.

I pray we never forget her lessons.

53. "Dear Ruthee"
Posted by ayelean on 09:43:17 3/13/2001

It wasn't too long ago that Ruthee came to chat, in fact it may have been the last time, and I was privileged to be there. You could tell that Ruthee was weak but so determined to be there. What a joy it was to communicate with her.

Can't help but think that with so many devoted JWers we have in heaven that Justice will be achieved for JonBenét. I will always cherish my jfJBR bumper sticker Ruthee sent to me. What a great lady.

Frank, she will be waiting in heaven for you, you will embrace again!

51. "Ruthee's lessons."
Posted by Cutter on 09:29:38 3/13/2001

Ruthee dedicated the last years of her life seeking justice for a little girl that was brutally murdered. She helped expose the truth about that crime and the people who exist only to protect that little girl's killers. She will forever live on through her work which she left behind for us, and future sleuths, on her web pages.

Now Ruthee knows the truth, and ALL the truth. Knowing what she gave us in the past, I can only imagine how desperate she must feel at this moment to get back to us with all she has now discovered.

Perhaps she will find a way, she seemed to be a person who believed she could do anything she wanted if she put her mind to it.

Rest in peace Ruthee. Your demand for, and your dedication to, "Justice for JonBenét" will always be there to inspire us...

58. "Ruthee"
Posted by Denver on 10:05:05 3/13/2001

Ruthee, my dear Ruthee, how you were loved by so many. You will be missed greatly, but we will let go knowing you are without pain.

I was fortunate to have met Ruthee three times. The first time was the gathering in Boulder. Ruthee, Frank, and I bonded immediately. It was a beautiful two days, and I remember hugging them as I prepared to leave Boulder and feeling like I was leaving family. My next visit with Ruthee was in Dallas in February 1968. Ruthee was not feeling well that weekend, but still managed to make us smile with her wit and wisdom. My final visit with Ruthee was special. We flew to Vegas to help Chris celebrate her birthday a little over a year ago. It was a fun-filled four days that I will never forget. A lot of laughter, a lot of gambling, and a lot of heart-to-hearts. For example, we discovered Ruthee had graduated from the same high school that my late brother graduated from. Yet with the hectic pace of Las Vegas, Ruthee always made time daily to check in with the love of her life, Frank.

My condolences to Frank and Ruthee's son and daughter. May you know that your wife and mother was loved deeply by many, many people. Also know that Ruthee was a very special person, and she will be missed greatly.

56. "What I remember most about Ruthee"
Posted by FT on 09:51:17 3/13/2001

is the loving, selfless, good-natured care she took of her ailing father.

And now I will also remember Chris's moving description of the loving, selfless, good-natured care that Frank took of Ruthee.

While we are mourning the loss of our friend, others are rejoicing to meet her behind the veil. ~John Taylor

55. "Heartbroken"
Posted by Ayeka on 09:49:45 3/13/2001

I am at a loss for words. Ruthee's webpages were the first things I read as I became more and more interested in this case. If not for the fact I'm at work I'm sure I would have let loose the tears. I am consoled knowing she is romping through the Summerlands, holding carefully to JonBenet's hand, laughing and singing in the glorious sunlight.

My condolences to all who loved her.


54. "Deepest sympathy to Mr. Ruth and all the family"
Posted by Bets on 09:49:05 3/13/2001

Ruthee's death is our sad loss and Heaven's gain.

57. "Ruthee"
Posted by doScubie on 09:56:32 3/13/2001

Although I did not have the honor of meeting Ruthee personally, I can tell from all the comments what a dedicated and wonderful person she was. This is so sad, to lose yet another "angel" who was fighting for justice. I pray for her friends and family that they can be comforted during this hard time of loss. Ruthee, thank you for your efforts. We will continue the cause here on earth. I know you're not suffering anymore. God Bless You!

62. "Thank you, Chris,"
Posted by Cassandra on 10:14:17 3/13/2001

for sharing your last treasured memories of your dear friend Ruthee.

How glad you must be that you went there when you did, and spent time with those two loving people.

Ruthee was a fascinating woman, and even though I never met her in person, I know this from what her friends tell about her, and from reading her work.

She is well remembered by all who were lucky enough to have passed her way.


61. "Ruthee"
Posted by Tricia on 10:10:28 3/13/2001

What a joy Ruthee was to everyone. Here is a woman who spent the last years of her life on earth trying to find justice for a murdered child. Ruthee always put others before her it seemed like. Like other posters have mentioned, Ruthee is a determined spirit. She will find a way to let us know the truth.

Chris when you put up Ruthee's picture a few days ago on the daily my 4 year old saw it. He said to me "Momma is she an angel or a queen"? I asked him "which one do you think she is"? His reply: "She is both".

Yes she is.

Rest in peace Ruthee


60. "Chris"
Posted by tinky on 10:10:18 3/13/2001

Thank you for the beautiful tribute to Ruthee. She will be missed...

Rest in peace, Ruthee...

59. "I would enjoy"
Posted by Watching you on 10:06:50 3/13/2001

having a thread with remembrances of Ruthie from all our posters, so I am going to start one. I hope it will stay up a few days to allow everyone to post on it, because I want something to print out and read now and then.

68. "Re: Ruthee"
Posted by listener on 11:11:07 3/13/2001

It's sad to have an ending to good things. It's so hard to give them back to God.

65. "Ruthie...."
Posted by rose on 10:28:43 3/13/2001

Rest in peace.

63. "Tremendous Loss"
Posted by eedayspa on 10:19:04 3/13/2001

Chris, thanks for sharing. Please pass on our best to Mr. Ruthee.

My hope is for eternal peace for her. She will be missed by many.

64. "Ruthee"
Posted by Sailer on 10:27:18 3/13/2001

You'll be missed by all of us. Rest in Peace.

67. "Gone but not forgotten~"
Posted by Aurora on 11:01:03 3/13/2001

That was a beautiful tribute... Chris.

I want to share with you a passage written by a great English Cleric, named Wilberforce (1759-1833) He was preaching on death.

Death, said Wilberforce, had always seemed to him like being on a ship sailing for a distant country. To those watching from the shore, the ship would seem to get smaller and smaller until it sinks beyong the horizon of being seen no more.

But what has happened to the voyager aboard the ship? Nothing!

He has passed out of sight of his friends on shore. But he is the same as ever. He is not conscious of having crossed any horizon line. His surroundings are unchanged. He goes on to the distant country and there "lives and loves and enjoys as before."

Ruthee has reached another shore and there were others on that side waiting to greet her.

Rest In Eternal Peace Ruthee.

66. "Dear, dear Ruthee,"
Posted by LurkerXIV on 10:59:52 3/13/2001

You have fought the good fight. You have won your crown of glory. Rest in peace with the angels and the saints.

Your life was no brief candle. Your flaming torch of justice for the children has passed on to all of us. We will guard the flame...we will not let it go out until there is justice for JonBenet.

69. "Ruthee,"
Posted by zoomama on 11:45:19 3/13/2001

Oh what a sad day for all of us. Somehow I had known that Ruthee was from CA by something she must have written. Months ago when there were problems with the server we would be denied access to JW. I wrote to Ruthee to ask if she knew what the difficulty was and would we be allowed back on. I was so impressed that this wonderful woman who had her own web pages and was such a guru for the JW community should answer me but she did. I am saddened by her passing but know she is with the angels now and that all her needs will be taken care of. Rest in the Lord's peace, dear Ruthee.

70. "No"
Posted by Holly on 12:00:41 3/13/2001


71. "I've spent all morning...."
Posted by Policedog on 12:13:15 3/13/2001

Trying to think of what I could say, and still there seem to be no words.

Mostly I am writing because somehow I know Frank will read this thread one day, and Frank, I don't want you to think I am not here. I surely am. And my heart is with you more than you could imagine -- you haven't been out of my thoughts all day. I did manage to compose some memories to put on the remembrances thread, and I am sure as this day progresses and things sink in more deeply, more thoughts will come to me, but for now I am sure you can understand the shock I feel.

72. "Thank you to Chris and Ruthee"
Posted by maxi on 12:34:15 3/13/2001

Thank you so much for sharing your last visit with Ruthee in such loving detail. Ruthee's insight into the case was a special gift to those of us lucky enough to have followed her intuitive and persistent search for justice for JonBenet. She was a woman who was not afraid to color outside the lines and to stand up for what she believed to be true and right. May we all be blessed with such courage.

73. "My heart hurts"
Posted by sherryf135 on 12:54:47 3/13/2001

We have lost alot here on JW.

I know Ruthie is with all the friends/family that have crossed over from JW. I am sure she is talking us all up.

She will be missed.

75. "Ruth "
Posted by annelise on 14:44:39 3/13/2001

in Hebrew means compassion and I have always thought it a beautiful name. I will always be in awe of her dedication to justice for JBR. My deepest sympathy to her family.


76. "May"
Posted by rachel on 14:55:27 3/13/2001

her soul find eternal peace in God's kingdom. She touched our lives while she was here and has left us much for which to be thankful.

77. "How sad"
Posted by A.K. on 15:07:32 3/13/2001

Chris, thanks for those vivid word pictures you drew to make us understand Ruthee's last week and your important visit with her. I'll think of her everytime I see baby fuzz. Your kindness must have meant everything to her.

I hope the work that Ruthee did on this case can somehow be preserved and accessible. She was a solid reporter, with a creative mind, devilish wit and utter respect for the process. Her loss will hit us all hard, but it's the case that will suffer most without her.

78. "Ruthee"
Posted by Baybb on 15:32:27 3/13/2001

I tried to write this post last night and couldn't. I tried this morning with no better luck. Ruthee meant many things to so many people and while her loss will be deeply felt, our lives were so enriched by having known her. She once signed her posts with "I shall wear Purple". The title of a poem that begins:

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin sandals and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

Without even thinking of it, I wore Purple today. In my thoughts that color will always be connected to Ruthee.

79. "God Bless Ruthee..."
Posted by Charley on 16:09:34 3/13/2001

So sorry to hear of Ruthee's passing. My heart aches for her family and good friends such as Chris.....Justicewatch was truly blessed to have been graced with Ruthee's presence....Soar Ruthee, for you are free!

80. "Prayers"
Posted by Linda on 16:22:51 3/13/2001

My thoughts and prayers are with you "Ruthee". I will always remember you! My prayers go out to you and your family.

81. "Ruthee"
Posted by Pope38 on 17:20:26 3/13/2001

Prayers offered for Mr. Ruthee, her family and Chris, on this very sad day.

82. "Chris"
Posted by darby on 17:27:00 3/13/2001

What a wonderful tribute you've written for Ruthee. I know your visit meant a lot to both her and her husband. Ruthee was a special person and will be sorely missed by all of us.

83. "Ruthee Dear"
Posted by Shamrockgirl on 17:47:58 3/13/2001

Oh my, seems everytime someone passes from here I have taken a few days off not reading or going online. My heart dropped when I saw Ruthee's full "real name" here. Seems she's gone to be with our other friends up there with JonBenet, Panico, Babe, and Alipat....now they are the four musketeers...watching over all of us. My deepest concolences to her husband Frank and her family, how touching your account of you visit Chris with them, what a wonderful loving husband he was and is.

God Bless you Dear Ruthee, you will be missed more than you will ever know.

84. "Oh Ruthee"
Posted by starfish on 17:55:47 3/13/2001

I so hoped you would see justice before you had to leave. God love you.

85. "Adios, Ruthee"
Posted by Longhorn on 17:56:16 3/13/2001

I have never met Ruthee, but we have been friends for years. Sharp of mind, hilarious wit, incredible insight(and in site), straight shooter--these are just a few ways I will remember Ruthee.

I remember one night in chat, my mother was visiting and Ruthee had stated that she felt something "big" was going to come down that weekend. I repeated that to my mother, who thought the same thing. I know something did happen then, but I can't remember what.

What I do remember is that my mother peridically asks about Ruthee, she felt a kinship with someone she didn't even post with.

Ruthee reached so many people, and I am so grateful to have known her. My thoughts and preayers to Frank and her family, as I know khow difficult this time is.No one is ever truly prepared.

87. "Bye"
Posted by cairn on 19:05:36 3/13/2001

God bless and good bye. You fought the good fight. Many of them. You and yours are in my prayers.

88. "Dear, dear Ruthee"
Posted by ShortyII on 19:38:03 3/13/2001

I cannot tell you how saddened I am today, to hear of Ruthee's passing.

I met Ruthee in Boulder, as a few of us did. We had been internet friends for about a year at that time and had 'chatted' on a pretty regular basis. Nothing that I knew about her though, prepared me for the gentle, sweet and unassuming friend that I met that weekend.

Several of us shared breakfast together one morning, while we were there. Ruthee and her wonderful husband were among us. Most of us had known each other online, but I had brought my sister along who was new to the group. Ruthee overheard us (my sister and I) just lightly discussing my sister's future employment concerns, around the table. Later that morning, as the breakfast group was breaking up, this angel of a woman quietly took my sister aside and assured her that she needn't worry. Things were going to be okay. She was so intuitive and so gentle and so kind. She and my sister kept in touch via email, over the next year as my sister's life settled back down and her new employment took her on many new adventures. Just as Ruthee had encouraged her to believe that they would.

Ruthee touched a heart and made a friend, everywhere she went. I feel a great loss today. A heavy one.

I do know though, that when I think of little JonBenet now, who Ruthee cared so very much about, I will naturally see Ruthee's gentle hand upon her little shoulder. They will stroll the beautiful gardens above.

89. "Chris,"
Posted by pip on 19:46:34 3/13/2001

What a wonderful friend you were to Ruthee, and what a wonderful friend she was to the cause of finding truth in the convoluted story of a girl named JonBenet. Ruthee's insights were always cryptic, yet ultimately made sense; I believe she had access to the other side long ago, and I believe she has access to THIS side now.

Rest well, Ruthee. I belive your search for truth has just begun. Say hello to the others for us, and hey - keep in touch!

91. "Ruthee"
Posted by ToppCat on 19:55:27 3/13/2001

Like many others here, I'm fortunate to have several years of "Ruthee" memories to hold on to. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in living, that it's hard to see not living anymore as a reality -- for ourselves and/or our friends/family. I guess I've always struggled with the possibility of others passing on. I always insist "no they're not" -- and go about my business, until they do, and THEN it hits.

Just like Babe, Panico and Alipat.

Just like Ruthee.

Rest in sweet, heavenly peace Ruthee.


90. "That was a lovely memorial, Chris"
Posted by Morgan on 19:54:40 3/13/2001

I'm glad to know she had such a caring husband by her side and he has my condolences. She was a terrific advocate for JonBenet and will be missed by many.

92. "Ruthee"
Posted by rico on 23:18:29 3/13/2001

A remarkable and beautiful human being. I'll miss you.

This world is not conclusion
Emily Dickinson

86. " Maw, I haven't gone any where.."
Posted by Kathy on 19:02:03 3/13/2001

I've kept vigil on my sweet Ruthee for months. I'm stunned. She shined her bright light in my direction this morning. All my dreams are coming true. Email me.

93. "original"
Posted by fly on 08:28:05 3/14/2001

Another one of the originals is gone. How sad.

94. "bye ruthee"
Posted by Kelly on 10:34:10 3/14/2001

I love you, and I'll see you in the next life.

95. "Earths Loss...Havens Gain "
Posted by Mee Too on 11:13:50 3/14/2001

Ruthee......a Powerful Voice and Torch bearer seeking Justice for JonBenet....

Rest in Peace..I will miss you.....

.......(Mee Too)

96. "Ruthee's JonBenet web pages"
Posted by mary99 on 10:24:04 3/17/2001

I hope her family will keep her pages online and if help is needed to do so, one of our internet-saavy members can assist. Through her web pages, she reached out and inspired many of us who never knew her in RL. Let's hope her pages continue to be available as it exemplifies the concept that even after death, our spirit lives on.

97. "goodbye, Ruthee..."
Posted by LabMom on 11:51:09 3/17/2001

...be at peace.

You will be sorely missed here on this earth - but that is left for us to deal with. Free of pain, at home with those who have gone before, your wonderful spirit is free forever...give our little angel a hug for us.....

Until we meet again...
love, LabMom